Octopus Doin'-It

The light switch in my bathroom is starting to falter and the other day my shower was plunged into blackness. Naturally I assumed it was someone arrived to kill me and the first thing that popped into my head was “Oh great the last song I am going to hear is this stupid SOS song by pop starlet now best known as a battered woman and when the police investigate the crime scene, one will have to reach over my hacked up body to turn off the shower radio tuned into generic, female-centric pop station. My secret would be out.

Am I the only person who thinks Anna Wintour’s wig is really bad? I feel like we should expect more. . .


It’s finally happened. After literally years of fighting instinct I have started avoiding social events because I am uncomfortable walking around areas of Seattle at night alone. I don’t know if it is because of the recession or simply because I am getting older or what but the heart of downtown, even areas that were once “ok” like the Nordstrom corridor, have become increasingly creepy. I feel like that goat in Jurassic Park.

After seeing the Audyre Sessions Last Sunday night (who were great by the way) I went to get cash out of the ATM and I got this message


Hey, thanks. Now even computers feel free to help me out only when they feel like it.

In other news, Aleistar the cat is (hopefully) in the height of his angst-ridden adolescence and has taken to spending long periods of time starring out the window like a teenage girl.


OH and let me tell you something else. I went to Octopus Week at the Aquarium on Sunday. It was fantastic if not packed (the highlight being able to use the MEMBER entrance and the MEMBER line as I am officially now a card carrying member of the Seattle Aquarium Society). Octopus week serves as a small example of what I love about aquariums. Each year the Aquarium raises a male octopus specifically to make him with their female Octopus on February 14th. They decorate the outside of the tank with hearts and flowers, play romantic music and in an unexpectedly kinky twist, they invite members of the public to come watch. Then on February 15th (and I saw this part!) they release the make Octopus into The Puget Sound (that’s the body of water I’m thinking of, right?) and escort him to an inviting rock pile under the aquarium where a veritable colony of jilted cephalopod lovers has sprung. How fantastic and. The ceremonial Octopus release is great two. They roll him down a long boardwalk in a decorated bucket past throngs of his adoring fans, down a gangplank and then . . . they just dump the bucket into the water SPLOOSH.

I think I am against Twitter, although I am not 100% sure yet.

And what is tumblr? Do I need one of those?

I tried two new foods in the last week, which is something I don’t get to say very often:
Bibimbap


And greek yougart with honey


And I am pleased to say I was simply delighted by both!

25 things I wrote for facebook

Once, you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things. At the end, you choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. My patron is St. Patrick, who is also the patron saint of snakes and beers
2. I have reoccuring dreams of tidal waves
3. Like XXXtina, Heather and half of the Beatles, I am also left-handed
4. Pine trees are my least favorite tree
5. I’ve never cheated at a board game
6. I have been a vegitarian for 10 years, but the first thing I would eat if I stopped is Fried Chicken
7. I kiss my cat on the lips
8. I DO judge people by their musical choices
9. My idea of a perfect first date is going to Aquarium and the record store and then delicious food
10. I may pretend like I have elevated tastes, but the only thing I like to watch on TV is the trashiest trash
11. I’m a science fair champion (more than once)
12. I can knit, but only variations on square things (scarves, table runners, potholders, coasters etc)
13. I know all the dance moves to The Brady Bunch Family Song "Keep On!"
14. The most expensive article of clothing I own is my Doc Martin MONSTER Boots. the second most expensive article of clothing I own was only about $35 (My converse)
15. Sandwiches are my favorite food
16. I wrote and directed a full length play for children
17. Writing Blogs makes me feel less lonely
18. I don’t wear make-up because because I feel it gives girls an unfair advantage over boys in terms of being good looking
19. I am very impatient,but that’s only because I get so excited
20. One of my life goals is to walk across hot coals (and to climb out the top of a stalled elevator)
21. I was almost an anthropologist
22. I have no tolerance for rudeness
23. My ears are pierced eight times
24. I feel like I grasp the magic of both objects and spaces
25. Like Keith Richards, I understand that while the rock is important, of equal importance is the roll

Dear Marlin Fishermen (and women)

Fuck you.
I am going to start caring big fucking hooks around with me so that if I ever meet you I can hook your face.



I am not 100% positive this is true,by the way. I went to the website but I am not sure. Also, if anyone wants to buy me that tee shirt that would be pretty awesome!

Sweet Dreams

Do you, like me wonder how calendar stores stay in business February through November? Does this curiosity then lead you to wonder how inflated the cost of calendars must be?

If you are a nerd like me you will probably like this movie, it is a little long but a delight the entire time.

Ann Coulter is acting like a C word

C is for Crazy!

I try to stay apolitical (as a good anarchist) and so I title this without any liberal bias- that being said have you seen this video of Ann Coulter on the Today Show? I mean just watch a little of it:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

(full disclaimer: while not passing political judgement I am 100% team today show and had Ann Curry been conducting the interview I would wager that Ms Coulter would have to have her jaw wired shut again. Also for the record I have strong opinions about Ann Coulter politically that I will not disclose but feel free to contact me offline if you are really interested)
SERIOUSLY, are you Five years old Ann? Or worse 14? You are behaving like a rejected highschool student who when backed into a corner only talk louder, clinging and repeating a half-truth. She may be a genius in some regard because I can't stop watching this (in the same way that I can't stop picking at a scab) embarrassment for her washes over me.


I read an interesting article about a woman who's PMS is so severe that her husband of 17 years left her, citing that very fact as the singular reason for his departure. The woman claimed ignorance that anything was out of the ordinary with her until the very moment he left her, received treatment and six months later they are reunited and happier than ever. This story reads almost like a fortune cookie "An action you perceive as normalcy in actuality is devastating for everyone around you"

Unlike this woman I am very conscious of my own inability to contain my gloom, projecting a virtual little black rain cloud of despair. Guess what - I am unapologetic.

Speaking of being emo: This is a real website and I could not be more disappointed that I am only finding it now and NOT ten years ago when I was 16.

This makes my heart soar

Does anyone ever even really read these except to delete the old answers to put in their new ones?

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Being at the Ocean

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Selfishness

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Rudeness

What is your greatest extravagance?
Coffee

What is your current state of mind?
Frustrated

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?


On what occasion do you lie?
very rarely

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My chin, and my hair

What is the quality you most like in a man?
Tie! Smart and Kindness

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Same

Which living person do you most admire?
Maybe none

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Swear words

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Aleistar CoCo Tunahead

When and where were you happiest?
You know when that was

Which talent would you most like to have?
Be good at playing instruments

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
To have more patients, be more stable

What do you consider your greatest achievement?


If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
Maybe a little bird

Where would you like to live?
New York City

What is your most treasured possession?
My copy of on the road

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?


What is your most marked characteristic?
My sass

Who are your favorite writers?
David Foster Wallace, Jack Kerouac

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Dora Spenlow

Which historical figure do you most identify with?


Who are your heroes in real life?
People who are true to themselves

What is your greatest regret?
I've had a few, but then again too few to mention

How would you like to die?
A long time from now

What is your motto?
Don't Dream It, Be It

I want to bite it's head off

If this was my cat it would be tragic because it would be like Lennie in Of Mice and Men except instead of petting it too hard it would be from kissing it too many times on its adorable face.

Alesitar is obvs the best, handsomest cat in the whole world hands (paws) down with the best looking face and best everything. But this is a pretty close second

Speaking of -- LOOK AT THAT CHICKEN HEAD!



Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others!



Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others!




Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others!

For reals yo, you are lucky to be reading this blog right now as I put my life and the life of my little cat in serious jepoardy (NOT the teen edition). Long story short I started hardboiling some eggs for lunch today and forgot, slept through the night with the stove top on and woke up to a ruined pot filled with charred egg and no water as it all evaporated. It is funny to me because I am so careful I always triple check everything (iron unplugged, space heater off, etc) but last night I faild in my basic ability as an adult.

I understand I have a flare for the dramatic- but sometimes I wonder if a lot of interesting things happen to me or I only impose interest upon otherwise pedestrian.

My downstairs neighbor only listens to classic rock radio and pracitices on electric guitar all day, meaning A) my life is currently soundtracked by pink floyd and B) my floor vibrates along with the guitar solos.

the New Yorker Fiction Podcast (the most recent one) was Shirly Jackson's The Lottery. Do you remember this story? I am sure you read it in high school or at least pretended to read it. As they discussed in the New Yorker Podcast, how everyone has to read it! And the reason for this was so lovely as "it's taught at at time in our lives where we are just waking up to the oddity of things and the terror that is everyday life" (slight paraphrase) as the reader A M Homes pointed out. But what I also forgot was how good the story was, how perfectly Jackson captures the feeling of a slightly nervous group of aquantiences, the slow build of horror to the last line which is perfect. And 1948!


PS if you need to kill 20 minutes and you are nerdy like me about stop motion animation check out this site!

THe Wreslter!

2008 was the year of my favs director PTAnderson . . .



BUT 2009 will be the year of my other favs director Darren Aronofsky

Superbed

NOT to be confused with a Superfight (SUPERFIGHT!)

But I have a lifetime dream of laziness finally established: A room of bed or a bedroom containing one Superbed:

You can see my cat and my computer for a little scale. The picture honestly doesn't do the Superbed justice. It is one full sized bed (my old bed) now with a new queen sized bed next to it, the two beds morphed into one Superbed that takes over my entire bedroom. Best bed ever. To give you some perspective, the bed is about seven feet long and ten feet across. IN other words, we could shoot a Prince music video in my room now. The only bummer is that it is almost impossible to walk around my bedroom anymore and that my sheets don't match (as sheet sizes only go up to King and not Super. So I may A) buy a good used parachute for a comforter or B sew my sheets together into a crazy giant patchwork.

Hey new subject: Who is sick of Twilight? I know this is old news but watching that boy vampire (whatever his name is) shout to underage girls "WHy do you love me? Tell me why?" on the Today Show was a little much.

"People seem to be getting dumber and dumber. I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The Internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it’s really given us is Howard Dean’s aborted candidacy and 24-hour a day access to kiddie porn, you know. And people don’t write anymore, they blog; instead of talking, they text; no punctuation, no grammar. LOL this and LMFAO that. You know it just seems to me that it’s just a bunch of stupid people psuedo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people in a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the king’s English" - Californication

IN the last two weeks I have watched all of Season One and all the existing episodes of Season Two of Californication. THis may be the best show on TV or at least (big distinction) my favorite show on TV. I love it, in all it's filthy glory. (And it is very dirty- so full disclaimer it is not for everyone) David Duchovny is SO good, he is unbelieveably good as the key character. Complicaticed, despicable, likeable and entirely effortless. It really feels like this is David Duchovny in real life, like he is saying the things he would really say in such a situation.

Plus, lets not kid ourselves, I love anything about alchololic writers and the struggle for meaning. And this may be my favorite part of the show, David Duchovny's struggle for meaning in a world completely superficial. And he rejects it, and then he indulges in it, then hates himself for it, then rejects it then indulges again. This is such a human movement and an arc of character I relate to more and more as I get older.

"there is this existential loneliness in the real world. I don't know what you're thinking or what it's like inside you and you don't know what it's like inside me. In fiction I think we can leap over that wall itself in a certain way. . .There's a kind of Ah-ha! Somebody at least for a moment feels about something or sees something the way that I do. It doesn't happen all the time. It's these brief flashes or flames, but I get that sometimes. I feel unalone -- intellectually, emotionally, spiritually. I feel human and unalone and that I'm in a deep, significant conversation with another consciousness in fiction and poetry in a way that I don't with other art." --D.F.W



With increacing frequence I google interviews with David Foster Wallace when I can't sleep (please see footnote one). I find safety in the way his words move (outside of their purpose for furthering the plot) elegantly falling in line. I found this article on Salon where he talks about Infinite Jest and answers a lot of the questions I have had about the book. It is nice because so much that is published about DFW is lurid details aboout his death, his affairs with horrible Elizabeth Wurtzel etc etc and even exploring how unhappy he was in his life, how lonely and miserable and painful he had become.

I love reading him talk passionately. Honestly I love reading anyone articulate passionately. As a society we have become ashamed I think of open adulation, of taking pure and sincere delight in things.

If you are interested in an effortless work of genious read this: Little Expressionless Animals









Footnote one: This is a new development since his death, for some reason I find it tremendously comforting

Shadow 86

As much as I appreciate and enjoy quiet singer song writers/math rock/shoegazing beats it is nice every once in awhile to have one's face melted by rock. Mike McCready's Jimmy Hendrix tribute band Shadow '86 (at the Showbox on Tuesday night at the "Get Out and Vote Party)" fulfilled all my teen-age boy desires- their set dirty vibrating and incredibly loud.

Let me say, I have seen Pearl Jam several times and I am a little ashamed to admit how much I underestimated McCready's - my attitude being like "whatever, Pearl Jam is good, Eddie Vedder is handsome and that is the end of the story" BUT he is an UNBELIEVEABLE guitar player! It is very rare, but every once in awhile a band sort of assaults me with a wave of rock creating a tickly desire like when you fight or have sex and after Shadow '86 brief set (only five songs including Voodoo Child, Little Wing, All Along the Watch Tower and a spot on rendition of the Star Spangled Banner) I had a strong urge to do both. At times Mike McCready slung his guitar and played it behind his back blind and I fully expected the band to smash their instruments (he didn't, it just felt like he did). I was reminded what how rock is suppose to function..

Pearl Jam is a band unabashed about sharing their influences (I can't see an artist from the late Seventies without running into Eddie Vedder performing a few songs) and it was exciting to watch someone finally enjoy what they were doing so much and take their audience with them.

On the flip side I guess Tom Morello played last night, but Im sorry to say I didn't stick around. One: It was already to late at night for this old lady and two his Bob Dylan-eqsue sincerity, while admirable, makes me bored. He is a really great song writer, his songs are good blah blah blah. . . but when he talks, I always feel like he is talking down to me and I really couldn't stand the idea any more celebrities urging me to vote.

PS Dropping some cocktail fodder Shadow 86 is made up of members of McCready's 1986 band Shadow. Mike also performs with a UFO tribute band called "Flight to Mars"

The Boom Heard Around the I-5 Corridor

It is tough for me to get pulled away from Halloween festivities for any reason, even for my one true love of Rock which I hope helps you understand how pumped I was to see The Sonics reunion show on Friday night. Also, because it was Halloween you will forgive me for being late to the rock show- meaning I missed all of opening band and Tacoma treasure Girl Trouble (except for the last few notes of My Hometown which was being pumped into the ladies rest room over the house PA and sounded great) BUT despite this minor set back the show was everything it should have been, silly, fun and packed with aging alternative fans dancing like. . . well drunk aging alternative fans.

If you don't know about The Sonics, think of them like this- If The Pixies are the "Founders of Alternative" and The Velvet Underground are "The Grandfathers of Alternative," then The Sonics would be like your slightly crazed Great Great Uncle who you only got to meet once when you were really young and then he died and you always kind of regretted being a punky kid and not hanging with him when you had the chance. Only in this scenario the cool Great Uncle/The Sonics weren't dead, He/They were actually just in hiding out in the basement of Bob's Java Jive in Tacoma with his younger German girlfriend- you know the one with the bangs- and popped up out of no where declaring they were playing a one time reunion show at the Paramount on Halloween.

The Sonics sounded great, despite the fact that they have to be in their late sixties- just loud and fuzzy and everything a rock show should be. They were introduced by garage rock superfan Steven Van Zandt who brought such a sense of novelty to the proceedings that even The Sonics wondered aloud about, pointing out twice that hey -"That's the guy from The Sopranos" when he joined them on guitar during Have Love Will Travel.

The worst part of this show was having to explain a million times that I was not going to see the defunct basketball team on Friday night but the True Sonics, who have remained loyal to the North West and hopefully are what the term Sonic will be remember for in regard to Seattle

Just 11 hours 42 mins to go!

Yippee! It is almost Halloween! YOu know what that means! THe best TV shows! Free for all Candy! Buckets of fake blood!

I was reading this on Gawker about what your Halloween Costume says about you and it was medium funny but I loved this part:

"We are, after all, grownups, who—as banal and depressing as this may sound—appreciate things like decorum and the fact that tomorrow Bob with the guts spilling out and Sarah with the corn syrup smeared all over her face will be reporting to their cubicles or their classrooms or wherever it is they go about working. "



UMMMMM how did Gawker know?! Did they look at my profile picture! Holy Smokes! Get ready for Scarrrrrrryyy

It's starting to get dark early

Yikes! Things have gotten gray and cold fast in the Northwest, and I have made you a little mix tape to celebrate the gloom. I feel like this selection of songs sum up how I have been feeling lately and I hope you like it!

It Must Be Fall in Seattle

PS I know the first track doesn't work. . . :(

The strangest of nights.

The Rite Aid down town is going out of business- the slowly vacating store was spooky, aisles filled with nothing but off brand cough suppressants and crock pots stacked half-hazardly, followed by aisles empty shelves slightly sagging slightly left. It looked like a supermarket that had been raided post-Zombie apocolypes. Stacks of loose batteries locked under glass where cameras once were and the Tic Tac rack by the checkout re-stocked with adult lubricant. I wasn't sure if I would be jumped or find a secret passage way. Fake Eyelashes, Windcatchers made out of Seashells, organic tooth paste all slashed 20 to 60% from the last marked price. This is just a word to the wise, the head manager of Rite Aid's last gasp was overstocking on every type of Halloween Candy, so if you plan to be home this October 31st you may want to stop there first.

By the time I got out of there, it was raining like a film noir: cold, dark, sideways, the stoplight reflection stretching for blocks. I pulled my hood up splashing six or so blocks only to realize I had no change. I ducked into a coffee shop and bought a light blueberry Yoplait, and was served by the nicest barista I have ever met. If he wasn't fantastically gay, I would have thought he was in love with me. Re-hooded I could see my bus cross the light two blocks away and I ran full tilt, yogurt in one hand, discounted drugstore products swinging from the other, and just made it before it roared away. Someone seated behind me was smoking pot. Off the bus I walked home chased by strange shadows and thoughtful questions from my Ipod "Where Is Pink?"







PS (back to my more comfortable literary voice): HOLY SMOKES Gossip Girl is OUT of CONTROL! The string quartet's cover of Hysteria by Muse at the Yale Party was quite the touch

liquid hot viral vel-vet-(ta)!

WHOA more viral video Act-shun The National covering Velvet Underground- awesome. . .

PS Hey The National, I like you but that is not very good dancing by you. Sorry!

Oh also! I have to stop watching the Sopranos before bed because
A) I am going to get fat because whenever I watch that show I always want to eat Lasagna and despite being a very active girl, no one can have too many late night pasta parties without packing on the pounds like a pachyderm
B) it makes me super violent! No, not really. BUT post Sopranos I always want to punch people as a matter of honor or some nonsense like that especially in my dreams, and I frequently think how much easier business negotitations would be if I was Tony Soprano
C) I have already watch in roughly the last two or three weeks 57-60 hours of the Sopranos. That's too much. It's too much. My eyes are starting to google out. And there is STILL a season and a half to go. I am starting to feel like the Sopranos are people I actually know and relating things on the show to things that are happening/have happend in my life. YIKES!

"It was such a funny feeling. . . it’s so cold in Alaska"

You should watch this now!

from Berlin: Live at St. Ann's Warehouse, holy smokes wait until the last 30 seconds when Antony Hegarty's vocals kick in

Angels, Knights, and Michael Cera

Did anyone else catch the Saturday Knights on the latest episode of Entourage? That is awesome, and I really couldn't be more happy for them

Speaking of, when did Weezer get good again? I think it must have been about a year ago? Maybe not so much on the records, but they were out of control at the key arena last night, highlights including Suzanne, Say It Ain't So, Jonas, Pink Triangle, a Pink Floyd cover and lots to knee slides and trampoline jumping. Considering their some what disasterous last Key Arena Appearance it was quite the pleasant delight. Another plesant suprise- how great was Angels and Airwaves!? Their stage set up was great, sounded good, good light show including one of the best rock moves I've seen in awhile- turning all the stagelights off (I believe this is called fade to black) and then Tom DeLong danced around with two halogen mini flashlights. Ok it sounds stupid when I type it out- but it was awesome when it happend and hey! Not expensive (compared to the rest of their light show which was very expensive)

And on to less awesome things- who gives a fuck what is on Michael Cera's Ipod? Tiger Beat? And confidentially to Michael Cera-yeah right, Kat Dunnings or whatever your name is- you make me want to puke